Boats Against the Current
by Lyrical Ballads
Summary: Love was such a pesky business anyway. A set of three oneshots in the Beautiful Little Fool universe.
1. Enchanted and Repelled

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Mummy_.

**Author's Note: **Here I am again with another story set in the same universe as _Beautiful Little Fool _and _Her Voice Is Full of Money._ This first chapter is about Violet, because I thought it would be interesting to explore things from her perspective, and it provides a glimpse into the early days of her relationship with Beni. I'm (eventually) going to be writing two more oneshots after this; one on Beni and Lucy and one on Jonathan and Lucy, and all three of them take place during the same week in February, 1926. To avoid any confusion, this is primarily set four months before the start of _Beautiful Little Fool_. Beni and Lucy have been married for about a year and a half, Rick is still on his travels around the world, and Jonathan and Evelyn have been living in Egypt for a couple of months.

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_Boats Against the Current  
_

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**I.**

**Enchanted and Repelled**

"Who were you talkin' to, honey?" Sam Henderson asked as Violet entered the living room.

He sat on the sofa with his shirt sleeves rolled up, polishing the long barrel of a rifle as if it were made of glass. He didn't even notice that Violet had put on a new dress and waved her hair differently that afternoon. He merely glanced at her from beneath the wide brim of his cowboy hat, seeing right through her, then took a bored swig from the glass of whiskey that sat beside him. Violet glared when he wiped his mouth on the bandana tied around his neck.

"Why do you care who I was talking to?" she asked.

"Just wonderin', is all. I heard you on the telephone."

"Well I wasn't talking to anyone important. I'm meeting a friend across town today."

Violet met a lot of friends across town, slipping away to hotel rooms and apartments while her husband remained home in blissful ignorance, thinking he was the only man in her life. She had been making friends across town for years, ever since she married Henderson in that little old chapel in Ohio he picked out himself, since he was too cheap to have a wedding in a big church like she wanted. He said he was saving their money for a trip to Egypt, where he was going to make their fortune digging for treasure, and she married the fool because he sounded so sure of himself. He was so sure he was going to be a rich man down in Egypt, where the streets were apparently flowing with diamonds and rubies, and here he was nearly six years later, selling guns out of the back room like a common criminal.

Henderson slowly wiped his rag along the rifle's handle, oblivious to the smirk on Violet's lips. "You have fun, then," he said. "I've got a fella who's comin' over in a few. Thinks he might like to buy a revolver."

She knew that already. She had been on the telephone with Beni just minutes before, listening to him murmur the most delightfully wicked things in that funny accent of his, and begged him to come over and pretend to be a gun collector so he could meet with her husband. Deceptions like that always gave her such a thrill. Violet caught her reflection in the little mirror hanging on the wall and rummaged around in the purse she carried, hoping to find her favorite lipstick, when a knock came at the door.

Henderson set down his rifle. "That's probably him now."

Another wicked smirk crossed Violet's lips, unnoticed by her husband. "I'll get the door."

She found Beni Gabor standing in the doorway, dressed in a striped grey suit with shiny black shoes, and she found his ugly face easier to bear when he wore such dapper clothes. She didn't spend time with him for his face anyway. Beni was rich and he was married, and there was nothing Violet enjoyed more than taking things that didn't belong to her.

"Hello," said Violet, keeping her tone cool and polite as she looked meaningfully into his eyes. He wasn't attractive at all, but _oh_, she wanted him so badly. "You're here to see my husband?"

"Yes," said Beni, keeping up their polite charade. "Is he home?"

"Over here, Mr. Gabor." Henderson spat out the tobacco he had been chewing, just narrowly missing the floor as it landed in the nearby spittoon, and shook hands with Beni. He absently gestured in Violet's direction. "My wife Violet."

Beni's eyes lingered on Violet a little longer than necessary. "What a lovely wife you have. It is very nice to meet you, Mrs. Henderson."

She offered him a quiet, demure smile, desperately holding back a wild peal of laughter. "It's nice to meet you too, Mr, Gabor."

"C'mon," said Henderson, giving Beni a clap on the shoulder. "Let's head on to the back and I'll show ya that revolver."

"I can hardly wait," said Beni, though only Violet detected the sarcasm in his voice.

He waited until Henderson wasn't looking, then reached for Violet and gave her backside a squeeze. She held in a giggle and gave him a playful swat. "_Later!_" she whispered.

Beni stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets and trailed after Henderson to the back room, where he would surely be bored out of his head as Henderson described his guns in excruciating detail. Violet was glad she was spared from _that_ little ordeal and flounced over to a chair, enjoying the way her new skirt settled across her knees when she sat down. She could have dozens of new skirts, now that she was having fun with a man like Beni, and it would all come out of the pocket of his rich, perfect wife who spent all of her rich, perfect days in the lap of luxury.

There was nothing more thrilling to Violet than a rich man who had to spend his wife's money.

She finally found her favorite lipstick and had just finished touching up her lips when another knock came at the door. She glanced down the hall, where Henderson and Beni were still shut away in the gun room, and heaved a little sigh before getting up and yanking the door open.

"Afternoon, Violet," said Dave Daniels. He took off his hat and held it in his hands, looking at her like a dog hoping for a handout. "Sam around?"

"He's in the back with a customer," Violet coolly replied. "You'll have to wait."

He continued to stand there with his hat clutched in his hands, looking at her with an intensity that used to excite her once upon a time, and she longed to slam the door in his face. "I wish you'd come around sometime," he said.

"Dave, honey, I've told you a hundred times. I'm done with that game."

"You'll never be done. You just found somebody who's more fun to play with."

Violet smiled. "Somebody richer."

"Who is he?"

"Nobody you would know."

Daniels' patience, which was already in short supply to begin with, was quickly wearing thin. "Doggone it, Violet. I know you wanna get outta this place. Pack your bags and I'll take ya to Sa Francisco, Paris, Rome, wherever you wanna go."

"And live in some flea-infested, two-bit motel?" said Violet, looking with distaste at his scuffed boots and his plain black tie. "If I'm going to leave this lousy country, I'm going to do it in style."

"I don't know where you got those high-and-mighty notions of yours, but you don't got no right to be uppity."

"Oh, I don't?"

"No," said Daniels, glaring at her. "You don't. And I don't know who this new fella of yours is either, but you're gonna wish you'd stayed with me when you had the chance. Money don't buy everything, Violet."

God, the man was in love with her. She only fooled around with him a few times here and there, since he was her husband's friend and she thought it would be exciting to get in bed with him, and he had the nerve to fall in love with her. It was pathetic. She thought of Beni, who looked upon the world with selfish eyes and rarely spared a thought for anyone besides himself, and she knew she would never have to worry about Beni falling in love with her, or making an ass of himself over her. Love was such a pesky business anyway.

"Sam will be back soon," she told Daniels. "And I'd hate to be in your shoes if he catches you talking to me like this."

He took his cowboy hat and shoved it onto his head, still glowering at her. "You're gonna be one sorry woman, Violet. Just you watch."

She watched him storm down the hall until he disappeared into the elevator. A man like that had no business falling in love with a woman like her, but Violet supposed that Daniels had his uses. She had been with Daniels on the night she met Beni, after all.

Two weeks ago she slipped out of the apartment in the early evening, having fed Henderson some story about taking a long stroll in the fresh night air, and she convinced Daniels to take her to a restaurant he could barely afford. He was so out of place among the glittering upper class that dined there, wearing his scuffed old boots and sitting with his elbows on the table like a perfect savage. He even had the audacity to chew tobacco until Violet made him stop.

"Can't even read half the things on this darn menu," he said, frowning down at the words printed in front of him.

"It's French, honey," said Violet. "All the best restaurants write their menus in French."

"Well this ain't France. Thank God Almighty for that."

"If you don't like it, you can go hungry."

"I never said I wasn't gonna eat nothin'," said Daniels. "I just wish they'd hand out menus a fella can actually read."

They had been going out to dinner and fooling around for less than two months and she was already getting tired of him. He bored her with his abrasive speech and his quick temper, and even the way he made love to her was boring. He was a little too much like her husband. The two of them were cut from the same exact cloth.

Violet looked away from Daniels, weary of the way he frowned at that menu like it had personally offended him, and she studied the faces of the richly dressed people who ate and drank and chatted in their nice, expensive clothes and their fancy jewelry. Her eyes landed on the most unusual couple sitting nearby, a man and a woman seated alone at a table, and she couldn't help but watch them in fascinated silence. The man was an odd, rather ugly fellow in a dark suit that looked a little too large for him, while the woman was a young, pretty thing with a stylish brown bob and sparkling eyes. Violet wondered how such an unsightly man had managed to snag such a lovely woman. Surely there was _something_ exciting and irresistible about him that made up for his looks.

The longer Violet watched this mismatched couple, the more she wanted to speak to the strange man with the beautiful companion, and she made an effort to catch his eye. Daniels was lighting himself a cigarette, too busy to realize what she was doing, and she got a little thrill when the man finally looked right at her. It meant nothing at first. He looked away from her and absorbed himself in his glass of wine, but then Violet caught his eye again. He took a little more notice of her, holding her gaze for a couple of moments longer, then looked away again when the lovely woman opened her lovely red lips and spoke to him.

"Gosh-darn waiter's taking forever," Daniels remarked after taking an impatient drag on his cigarette.

Violet found it funny that he didn't swear in front of women, unless he was truly upset. He put his elbows on the table and didn't wipe his boots before going indoors, and yet he couldn't swear in front of a woman.

"He's obviously busy," said Violet. "You can wait a little."

"I'm hungry as a bear right now. I thought this was a classy joint."

"It _is_."

"Well their service ain't so classy."

Violet held back a sigh and turned her attention back to the nearby couple. The man was looking at her now, watching her with the hint of a smirk on his ugly little face, and Violet wanted him more than ever. With a face like that, he _had_ to be exciting in the sack for a beautiful woman to spend time with him. Violet made sure Daniels wasn't looking, then gave the man a little smile and a wink before turning away and pretending to read her menu.

"Say, I'm going to go powder my nose," she said a moment later.

"What if the waiter shows up while you're gone?" Daniels protested.

"Order something for me."

"Heck, Violet. I can't even read the menu."

"Then point at something and the waiter will read it for you," Violet said, getting up from her seat. "Now if you'll excuse me."

She walked past the couple nearby and looked straight at the man, then subtly motioned towards the restaurant entrance, which was off in the distance where Daniels wouldn't see them. Her heart beat faster with excitement as she walked through the restaurant, trying to look as if nothing was out of the ordinary, and when she glanced over her shoulder she saw the man following discreetly behind. She wondered what excuse he had made to his woman—whoever she was—then decided she didn't care.

The night was chilly when Violet stepped outside the restaurant, but there was nobody around and she stood against the building with her arms wrapped around herself, waiting for the front doors to open. She heard footsteps on the pavement and he appeared, looking shifty and uncertain until he spotted Violet, and his lips curved into a smirk when he saw her waiting for him. He really was the most funny looking man, even under the dark starlit sky, but his clothes were expensive and in good taste. Her husband wouldn't be caught dead in such a nice suit.

They looked at each other for a moment, curiosity mingled with desire, and at last Violet spoke.

"What's your name, honey?"

"It's Beni," he said, taking a step closer. "What's yours?"

She was surprised by his voice. She figured he might be American or English, since he was dressed so well, but he had a strange accent she couldn't place.

"Violet," she said, her heart pounding faster than ever. "Where on earth are you from?"

"Hungary."

"I've never had a Hungarian before," said Violet, boldly taking him by the hand so she could pull him in close. "But I'm perfectly willing to try it. I've been watching you, you know."

"I noticed," Beni said in his odd-sounding whine.

She wrapped her arms around his skinny frame, breathing in his expensive cologne, and dropped her voice to a murmur in his ear. "And I've decided that I'll die if I can't have you just once."

He pushed her against the wall and kissed her, making her gasp a little with the sudden force of his mouth against hers. It hurt a bit when he kissed her, but she liked that. It had been so long since she really, truly _felt_ anything when a man touched her, and she was consumed with a desperate, wild need for more than just a kiss.

"Do you have a telephone?" she asked breathlessly when they broke apart, looking up at Beni with round eyes.

He was still as ugly as ever, but it didn't matter anymore. "Yes," said Beni.

"Give me your number, will you? I'll call you as soon as I can."

She dug a pen out of her handbag and wrote his number on a pack of cigarettes, then took a moment to straighten her dress and fix her hair. Beni was watching her with a slight frown on his face, as if he could hardly believe she had allowed him to kiss her like that, and she supposed she couldn't blame him. He probably wasn't used to women throwing themselves at him.

"I'll go back inside first," said Violet. "Wouldn't want your lady friend to get suspicious."

"My wife," Beni said with a smirk.

Goodness, the man was married. He really _must_ be a fantastic lover and Violet's whole body ached to discover if it was true. "Well we wouldn't want your _wife_ to get suspicious," she said, correcting herself, and she realized she was glad he was married. It was always more fun with married men.

"What about that man you're with?" Beni asked. "Is he your husband?"

"No, thank God," said Violet. "He's just a buffoon, and I'm through with him."

She brushed past Beni and returned to the restaurant, back to the table where Daniels was waiting, and tried not to watch when Beni came in a minute later. She thought of him for the rest of the evening, impatient to dial the number she scribbled on her pack of cigarettes, and when the night was over she politely told Daniels she didn't want to see him anymore.

It was true that money didn't buy everything, but it sure as hell could buy a lot.


	2. Careless People

**Author's Note:** I really haven't been in the mood for fanfiction at all lately, but I'm trying to get back into all those stories I've been neglecting, since I hate to leave things unfinished. I realized it's been a million years since I posted the first part of this, so here's another oneshot.

Just like the previous oneshot, this is primarily set four months before the start of _Beautiful Little Fool _during February, 1926. And as a refresher, Beni and Lucy have been married for about a year and a half, Rick is still on his travels around the world, and Jonathan and Evelyn have been living in Egypt for a couple of months. The flashback scene takes place in the spring of 1925.

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**II.**

**Careless People**

"He looks like you," Lucy remarked.

Beni lounged on his favorite chair in the living room, a newly lit cigar clasped between his fingers. "Who?" he asked with a bored glance in her direction.

"The baby."

"You have said that a hundred times. Everyone says that."

"He really does, though," said Lucy. "Looks more like you every day."

Beni grinned at her through his cloud of cigar smoke. "At least there's no doubt he is mine."

No, there was certainly no doubt at all. Lucy tried to focus on the issue of _Vogue_ that lay open on her lap, but her eyes kept straying to the rug on the floor where Gabriel played by himself. She remembered when he was born she looked desperately into his face, hoping to see something of herself reflected in his features, and the nurse indulgently told Lucy that the baby took after her, because that was what every new mother wanted to hear. _He's going to be a very handsome little boy_, the nurse declared, gushing over Gabriel's tiny face like he was the first baby she had ever seen.

For a while Lucy tried to believe her, but Gabriel remained scrawny and his eyes became bluer and she knew he would never be handsome. She didn't want to blame Beni, since Beni couldn't help his looks any more than Gabriel could, but every now and then she would foolishly wonder what her little boy would look like if she had made him with somebody handsome, like Rick O'Connell. Which was ridiculous, since she had her chance with Rick and didn't take it, just like she had her chance with a dozen other fellows who were perfectly willing to drown her in all the affection she could want.

But she didn't want any of that. She only wanted Beni.

She tried to read her magazine again, but Gabriel had dropped his toys on the rug and sat there looking up at her, staring at her with wide-eyed curiosity. He was less fussy than usual and Lucy thought it would be nice to bring him out of the nursery, as long as the nursemaid remained nearby, and she was a little startled when her son looked up at her with Beni's eyes. She was still a little surprised, even after a year of looking into that tiny face, that Gabriel didn't take after her at all. Gabriel was living proof that Lucy had chosen Beni. All she had to do was look into that face and know that she had made her choice, that she had willingly slept with the man she called her husband and willingly took his last name to spite her stuffy, uptight family.

At least she was able to give the baby a nice, sensible first name like Gabriel. Beni wanted to give him some outlandish Hungarian name, but Lucy put her foot down. She wasn't going to name her child something she couldn't pronounce.

"His birthday is next month," Lucy remarked, glancing at Beni.

Beni spoke around his cigar. "Who are you talking about?"

"The _baby_," Lucy said again, unable to keep the impatience from her voice. "Haven't we been talking about the baby this whole time?"

"I don't know. You are the one who has done the talking."

"Well his birthday is next month. I'm expecting you to be here."

"What if I am busy?"

"It's his first birthday, Beni," said Lucy, raising her voice a little. "How can you possibly be busy?"

A shrill, piercing sound echoed through the house, as if answering Lucy's question. It rang once, twice, three times, and Lucy shut her magazine with a huff.

"Honestly, I don't know why we have that thing," she said. "Nobody important ever calls."

Beni said nothing. He sat in his chair with the dwindling stub of his cigar clutched between his fingers, eyes fixed in the direction of the telephone. Moments later the housekeeper came bustling in and told Beni he had a call. Lucy tried not to stare at her husband as he got up and followed the housekeeper, but she found herself staring anyway, watching him as he walked across the room in his expensive striped suit and his fine leather shoes. He always insisted on wearing a suit, even when he was lounging around the house, as if he constantly had to prove he had money. That his days as a poor, grasping street rat were over.

But sometimes Lucy didn't think he looked so grand in all his finery. Sometimes she missed the days when he wore the same ragged clothes and the same old fez for days on end. Everything was so much simpler back then.

She strained her ears for the faintest hint of voices in the distance, but Gabriel was making noises to himself as he reached for his toys and she doubted she could hear anything anyway, even if the room was silent. Beni came creeping back in a minute later, a decidedly shifty look on his face, and he avoided Lucy's eyes as he walked back to his chair with as little noise as possible.

"Who called?" said Lucy.

"Nobody," said Beni, fishing a flask out of his pocket as he sat down.

"Well it had to be _somebody_. Who was it?"

"I don't know. I think they called the wrong house."

He couldn't fool her. Lucy knew it was _that woman_ calling the house again. _That__ woman _had called just the other day, when Beni was out and Lucy happened to be sitting near the telephone, and now she had the nerve to call the house again. Lucy was no stranger to Beni's unfaithfulness. He had been straying to other women's beds since they were married, but none of his women had ever dared to call the house before. None of them had ever dared to disrupt the fragile illusion that held Beni and Lucy together through a year and a half of marriage, and now some stranger with an alluring voice had shattered it. Lucy felt restless sitting there with her magazine on her lap and her son playing at her feet; restless and all too aware of the way Beni had looked when he returned to the living room.

She had made her choice. She married Beni because she was having his baby and wanted Gabriel to grow up with his real father, but _oh_, sometimes she regretted that choice. Sometimes she regretted it so much she could cry.

She thought about starting something with the man who came to install the radio last month. He was tall and handsome, rather like Rick O'Connell, and he had a gentle way of speaking when he asked her where she wanted the radio to stand. He was the sort of man who made her think sudden, wild thoughts of taking him aside and whispering scandalous suggestions in his ear, but Beni had been in the room. Beni saw her looking at the man, his brow furrowed in that suspicious frown that once amused her, and she couldn't go through with it.

Lucy stole a glance at Beni, who was lazily tipping the contents of his flask into his mouth, and suddenly felt tired of it all. She was tired of their lovely white house with the big, lovely windows, tired of her husband with the constant wandering eye, even tired of Gabriel; poor, innocent Gabriel who couldn't help resembling his father. A year ago she had been so full of hope, full of foolish dreams of everything turning out right in the end. A year ago she was in Alexandria, spending her days and nights in a splendid little house by the sea, and it was so easy to have hope. It was so easy to believe that Beni would eventually mend his ways and that the two of them would be happy.

She liked Alexandria. She and Beni boarded a train just hours after the wedding and headed straight for the seaside, where Lucy could have the baby in privacy without her family giving her disapproving looks. The house they rented was just down the road from the ocean and she loved to stand outside and feel the breeze that came off the water. She didn't take Gabriel outside, though, once he was born. He was so terrifyingly young and he was so small, since he had come early, and she had been so afraid she would lose him. She was surprised at herself for feeling that way. When she first found out she was expecting a baby, she didn't want him and wished he would conveniently disappear, but once he arrived she was glad she had him, or else her marriage to Beni would be for nothing.

If she lost Gabriel, it would all be for nothing. The hasty marriage, the shiny band of gold that circled her finger, the endless weeks of waking up and finding Beni sprawled beside her. She and Beni would be left all alone with nothing to tie them together, no reasonable purpose for the vows they exchanged on a hot October morning, and it was more than Lucy could bear. So she left little Gabriel in the house and took walks by herself, a sunshade in her hand as she wandered along the shore and dreamed foolish dreams of what her life would be like when she and Beni returned to Cairo.

She remembered sitting in the living room of their little seaside cottage on a quiet evening in April, a month after Gabriel was born. She kept watching the clock and peering out of the cream-colored curtains that covered the front window, wondering if her husband would be home in time for dinner. The woman they hired to cook the meals said it should be ready in half an hour.

Lucy stepped away from the curtains, letting them float in front of the window once more, and sank into an armchair so she could pluck her cigarette from the nearby ashtray and bring it to her lips. She could hear the baby fussing in the next room and was so glad she hired Agnes, the nursemaid, to look after him. Agnes was a plain woman in her thirties, the sort of unassuming woman who could fade into the background of a household without catching any unwanted eyes, and Lucy knew she was being foolish for choosing a nursemaid who wasn't pretty. She knew there were dozens of pretty faces outside the home that could tempt Beni, but she felt satisfied that she at least had control of what happened under her own roof.

The front door creaked open and Lucy rose from her seat, smoothing out the skirt of her pale yellow dress. Men always liked it when she wore yellow. _Like summer itself come to life,_ her old friend Archie had once told her.

"You've been gone for hours," said Lucy, watching Beni slip through the door.

"I told you I would be going out," said Beni.

She drew close to her husband and kissed him on the cheek, relieved that he really _had_ come home before dinner, though her relief was short-lived when she caught the strong whiff of alcohol that came from Beni. "Where did you go?" she asked.

"I was just wandering around the city," he said.

"For nearly four hours?"

"It is a big city, Lucy."

She had been asking the same question for months and the answer was always the same. She didn't mind Beni's frequent trips out of the house; in fact, she found it relaxing when she had some time to herself, but she wished he wasn't so secretive. She helped Beni out of his jacket and caught the scent of perfume as well as liquor, and she knew exactly where he had been that night. The answer was always the same.

"Dinner will be ready soon," she said brightly, forcing a smile on her face as she hung up Beni's jacket.

"I'm not very hungry." Beni sounded bored, as if he had sampled every aspect of fine dining in the space of four hours.

"You're _always_ hungry."

"Well I'm not tonight. I'm going to have a cigarette and go to bed."

"Oh, Beni, can't you at least sit at the table with me?" she pleaded. "It's no fun sitting there all alone."

He made a whiny little noise that wasn't quite a sigh and fished a cigarette out of his pocket. "All right."

She kissed him on the cheek again, hoping to coax the tiniest bit of affection from him. "Thank you."

She received a look from him in return; the sort of look that made her feel like he was truly seeing her. His eyes traveled from her face to the neckline of her soft yellow dress to the bottom of the skirt, and the side of his mouth curved up in a little half-smile. It wasn't much, but it was a lot coming from Beni.

Lucy took him by the hand, trying to ignore the sickly combination of liquor and perfume that clung to his clothes, and felt Beni tense up as she grabbed hold of him. The baby was wailing in the next room.

"Why does he make so much noise?" Beni complained.

"Agnes says he has colic," said Lucy.

"Well you can't blame me if I have been gone for hours."

"He can't help it, Beni."

Beni took an urgent drag on his cigarette, impatiently blowing out the smoke as another wail filled the air. She knew he wasn't used to the idea of being a father. He had only been a father for a few weeks, after all, but he and Lucy were returning to Cairo next month and they were all going to move into a big, lovely white house and everything would be all right. Lucy had to believe that everything would all be right, that all of the anxiety and frustration would fade away once they were settled in a real home of their own, and she gave Beni a nervous smile.

"Would... would you like to hold him?" she said softly, hesitantly.

"Who?" said Beni. "The baby?"

"He doesn't cry so much when you're around him. Haven't you ever noticed?"

"No. I haven't noticed."

"Well it's true. I think he likes you."

"He is a baby, Lucy. Babies don't know anything."

"Please," said Lucy, giving his hand a squeeze. "I really think you ought to see him."

He made that whiny sound again, but he didn't argue with her and followed her into the nursery, his cigarette sticking out of the corner of his mouth. Lucy didn't blame him for spending so much time out of doors, since Gabriel's constant fussing _did_ wear on the nerves, and she didn't even blame him for spending his time with disreputable women. He thought if he left the house early enough, she wouldn't suspect that he visited brothels, but she knew where he went. She had known for months, ever since they moved into their little house by the sea, and she couldn't blame him for wandering off before Gabriel was born. That was simply what husbands did when their wives were expecting babies.

She didn't even blame him now that Gabriel had arrived and was nearly a month old. Beni was a creature of habit, and like any creature of habit he found it hard to let go of his vices, but all of that would change once they left Alexandria. Once they left Alexandria and settled down in old, familiar Cairo, they could be a proper family at last.

Agnes held Gabriel in her arms, trying to rock him back to sleep, and Lucy was struck with how simple it all seemed when Agnes handled the baby. Sometimes Lucy was frightened of Gabriel. Frightened that she would drop him, that he would spit up all over her nice dress, that she would do something dreadful by mistake and make him cry worse than ever. She knew nothing about babies. She had never wanted to have a baby, even when she saw girls her own age pushing carriages down the streets of Chicago, and she was frightened that somebody as small and helpless as Gabriel depended on her.

But Agnes made it look so easy. Agnes made her wish that Gabriel wasn't an accident, that she and Beni had him on purpose because they loved each other and wanted a family, and a sudden desperation seized hold of her as she nudged Beni closer to the baby. She _did_ love Gabriel; she really, truly did in spite of all her fright, and she desperately wanted Beni to love him as well.

"Agnes." Lucy's throat felt dry and she forced herself to speak a little louder, lending a little bit more boldness to her anxious words. "Beni would like to hold the baby."

Beni looked as if he wanted to protest, but he kept his mouth clamped around the cigarette that smoldered faintly in the hot Egyptian air.

Agnes looked like she wanted to protest as well, and that she clearly thought Lucy had gone insane, but instead she spoke in her slow, gentle way and told Beni how to support the baby's head when he held him. Beni looked suddenly nervous and Lucy caught a flicker of fear in his eyes, but he didn't run away when Agnes carefully placed Gabriel in his arms, and soon Gabriel's wails turned into quiet whimpers, which quickly gave way to silence.

"I told you so," said Lucy. "He doesn't mind you at all."

The flicker of fear turned to panic and Beni looked down at Gabriel with wide eyes, as if seeing him for the first time. "Here," he said, holding Gabriel out to Agnes. There was a hint of a whimper in his voice, not unlike the baby's. "I will drop him."

"You've barely held him for five seconds," said Lucy.

"Which has felt like an eternity."

"There's no need to be dramatic. What's so difficult about holding your little boy?"

"If holding our dear, precious little boy is so easy, then how come I never see _you_ hold him?" Beni shot back.

"I think dinner's ready," said Lucy, struggling to keep her voice steady. A couple of hot tears stung the corners of her eyes, though she wasn't sure where they came from, and she blinked them away. "I'm sure you won't mind if I eat by myself."

She was vaguely aware of Agnes taking the baby away from Beni, of Beni taking a hasty step back and bringing his cigarette to his lips, but she didn't stick around long enough to see anything else. She retreated from the nursery at a brisk walk, not caring where she was going or where she might possibly end up, and longed to take a nice, long stroll along the beach.

But it was much too dark for a stroll, even if she took a lantern with her. The beach was frightening after dark, when the sound of waves lapping against the shore turned sinister and every shadow was a terrible sea creature waiting to swallow her up. She walked to the front of the house instead, where the electric lamp cast a soft glow upon the walls, and a horrible thought took hold of her.

It wasn't a new thought, but a familiar one that crept into her mind every now and then, and she heard a little voice whisper in her ear that her life was over. That she and Beni had made a big mistake and there was no going back.

But no, that wasn't true at all. It couldn't possibly be true when so many things could happen, and she longed for the familiar streets of Cairo where everything would be all right.

Beni would learn to love her. He would learn to love her, and someday she would learn to love him back.


End file.
